As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
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“Comparability is the thief of pleasure.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however comfortable as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of home made pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took an extended, sunny stroll. Each process on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to chill out.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Immediately, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A research from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable lure of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability concept revealed our pure urge to judge ourselves towards others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two forms of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: Taking a look at these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: Taking a look at these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards one of the best and brightest. Generally, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However right now’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, typically distorting actuality and turning what may very well be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish aspect of social comparability
Social media provides us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embody:
- Low shallowness
- Nervousness and melancholy
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even for those who’re not a giant scroller, societal stress is in every single place. So how will we maintain comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Apply the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause can assist you make a aware alternative slightly than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is essential. Observe how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The objective isn’t to get rid of social media however to regulate its impression in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a shopper
I publish virtually each day, however I restrict my scrolling to only 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me have interaction with out being sucked into the comparability lure.
4. Apply gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three belongings you’re grateful for each day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you will have.
5. Set targets, and rejoice wins
Clear, sensible targets maintain you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and each day targets, maintaining a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And after I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s straightforward to get caught up compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The fantastic thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Elevate others up. Rejoice your wins. And keep in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
